I had some ugly crying to do and an awkward pre-planned family vacation to take immediately after calling it quits with my husband. Ten days later, though, I opened an account and created a profile on the online dating site OK Cupid.
Let the games begin!
I was immediately inundated with messages from potential suitors. Oh, this was fun! I loved “shopping” the catalog of OK Cupid men.
I became a little obsessed with one guy in particular. He looked like Christopher Reeves in Superman – my childhood crush! He was 45 and looked young for his age. Our first date was in Golden Gate Park’s dahlia garden. So sweet! I brought a blanket so we spread it out and laid on top of it, staring at each other. I had my first post-separation kiss with Superman that early evening in late August. He asked if it was weird to kiss someone new for the first time in 16 years and I responded, “Not as weird as I expected. It’s actually quite nice.”
My first post-separation sexcapade was soon after, but not with Superman. George (so named because he looks like a young George Clooney), 38 years old, reached out to me on OK Cupid because we were in a similar situation: separated with young children but still living with our spouses. He asked if I wanted to meet up and compare notes. “Yes, absolutely.”
We went salsa dancing! We couldn’t keep our hands off each other the entire night and then consummated our new friendship in the back seat of my car. It was delicious. And so high school! We giggled at ourselves for being so immature.
The excitement of meeting new people was exhilarating and addictive. I couldn’t get enough!
About three weeks after signing up for OK Cupid, I downloaded the Tinder dating app on my phone. My friends had warned me that it was exclusively for hook-ups so I did a little research first. Just as I suspected, Tinder was now so popular that it was currently being used like traditional dating websites, especially in large metropolitan cities like San Francisco. I have generally found that to be true. I have also found the quality of guys to be about equal on both. There are guys looking for relationships on both OK Cupid and Tinder, just as there are guys looking for hook-ups or, as the new term goes, “friends with benefits” on both.
I went on 3-4 dates per week, as many as I could squeeze into my busy schedule.
I usually meet a suitor for the first time for drinks at a bar after I’ve tucked my kids into bed… but not always. Demure first date activities have included attending museum exhibits, going on walks in the park, and having weekday lunches near my office while the more risqué dates have included giving a blowjob in a parking lot or a quick “makeout” session in my car while his infant daughter slept in his car parked next to mine.
The most shocking thing is that I was having intense chemistry and sparks with every single guy I met. How was that possible? Was it true connection or was I just hormonally supercharged?
Only time would tell.