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With almost 4-1/2 months of aggressive dating under my belt, I have a lot to catch up on. First, though, I wanted to fill you in on last night’s date.

Name: Guy (he looks like Guy Pearce)

Met on: OK Cupid

34 years old, never married, no kids


Guy Pearce


We’d been chatting on OK Cupid and texting for a couple weeks. He was looking for a monogamous “friend with benefits” and I told him I was fine with that as long as we clicked and got along well enough for me to want to be exclusive with him. I also told him it might take some time to determine that. In other words, I wasn’t sure I was ready to stop dating to see him exclusively when we hadn’t even met yet. That’s reasonable, right?

He was bothered by my serial dating and apologized for being old-fashioned and wanting monogamy “like an 80 year old woman”. He just doesn’t believe in sleeping around. Fair enough. I actually told him that I would ideally prefer to be monogamous with someone, as long as we were sexually compatible and he was available often enough to fulfill my frequent needs. He said that, yes, he was available any time he wasn’t at work.

The caveat: He wasn’t looking to wine and dine someone.  Huh? But I assumed he’d want to at least know who he was fucking. Right? Was he equating wining and dining with dating? Whatever. I guess it’s a non-issue as I don’t necessarily want/need wining and dining anyway.

He changed his mind about meeting up a couple times and then straight up canceled our date on Saturday night. What the fuck…?! I wrote him off, announcing via text “Yes, I think we do actually want different things” and then didn’t hear from him again….

Until last night.

I was surprised.

Me: “Why the change of heart? I thought you weren’t interested.”

Him: “I’ve always been interested. You are fucking hot.”

He invited me to his place for a drink and a movie, saying he’d like to get to know me better. Now we’re talking! He obviously had a change of heart if he wanted to get to know me a little first. Right?

I actually had another first date lined up but was feeling a little iffy about the date (his OK Cupid profile said he’s an orgasmic meditation trainer. Um… what the fuck?!). I told Guy I had plans but would reschedule my plans and see him if he could convince me he would follow through time. A date with him would have to be a sure thing if I was going to cancel my date.

He promised he was in. I told him to send me his address. He did.

I arrived at his place with a bottle of wine in hand. We sat in his living room and talked for a couple hours, sipping Argentine malbec. We have a lot in common, especially taste in music. Big bonus! Music is my passion.

There were sparks. Our knees touched occasionally as we sat next to each other on the couch, sending electrical currents through my body. Eventually, he leaned over and kissed me. Full on makeout session ensued, then sweet sex on his couch.

He had a cute fuckface. Awww!

He warned me that it took him a long time to climax. I told him, “Good. Even better!”

But I spilled some wine as we were changing positions and, when he returned with paper towels, he said he noticed the time in the kitchen and it was much later than he thought (midnight). He had to get to bed because he has to get up for work at 4:30. Ouch. And sob.

I was disappointed but completely understood. I wouldn’t want to be him. I got dressed and used the bathroom before kissing him goodbye. He asked me to text him once I got home just so he knew I made it home safely. Awww.

I texted him when I got home last night at 12:30 am, saying that I hoped he was already asleep. I didn’t expect to hear back until this morning. Well, it’s now almost 11 pm and I still haven’t heard from him.

I noticed this afternoon that he deleted his OK Cupid account. What the fuck?! Whatever. I’m over trying to comprehend people’s behaviors. There’s usually much more going on with someone than I can ever imagine. (And why I would never be a good fiction writer.)

No matter. I have another first date scheduled for tomorrow night. A Tinder guy that’s a dad to two teenage kids and lives in the south bay. Stay tuned.