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Well, that was awkward. I just returned from the doctor’s office. I made the appointment yesterday because my pre-period spotting was accompanied by a nasty odor.

Oh god. I feared I had a sexually-transmitted infection. The dreaded “Trich” was a possibility, according to Google. The worst part was imagining telling my sexual partners that they needed to get tested. That would be absolutely mortifying.

It is my lucky day because I do not have Trich; instead I have BV (bacterial vaginosis). BV is not sexually transmitted but is likely caused by sexual intercourse or even oral sex. The doctor explained that each sexual partner introduces their own microorganisms into the vagina and can upset the pH balance, causing bacteria to grow.

I am extremely relieved I do not need to inform my sexual partners. *phew*

I am now taking the antibiotic Flagyl for the next week. I was advised not to drink alcohol while taking Flagyl (“it will cause nausea and vomiting”) and was also advised not to have sex until it’s completely cleared up.

I have 2 dates next week and won’t be able to drink nor have sex. Shit.

But back to the doctor’s appointment. I was dreading it because I knew I would be interrogated about my sexual history. That’s a given. And I was.

“No, I’m not married. I’m separated.”

“Yes, I am sexually active.”

“Yes, I have more than one partner. I am dating.”

I told her I had 2 sexual partners. I didn’t count Guy because I am pretty certain I am not going to be seeing him again. So, 2 partners is certainly true right now but won’t necessarily be true next week. It wasn’t lying.

I felt judged when she chuckled and asked, “Do the two guys know about each other?”

Are you fucking kidding me?! Of course not! I wanted to say that. Instead, I said a simple “no”.

Nice. I am pretty sure that was a professionally inappropriate question.

She strongly recommended reliable birth control such as birth control pills or an IUD, saying withdrawal is very unreliable. I told her I would think about it. Ugh. (Texas has had a vasectomy and insists I am the only person he is having unprotected sex with – we have already had that conversation.)

Clarification: I also realize that by not using condoms I am exposing myself and my sexual partners to sexually-transmitted infections. I had unprotected sex with Colombian Hottie a couple times and always have unprotected sex with Texas. I have been playing Russian roulette. This was my wake-up call.

I saw Colombian Hottie last night. He invited me over. It was late – almost 11 pm – and I was beat so I waffled a bit. In the end, my sex drive won.

I warned him that I was spotting in advance of my period and confirmed that that would be okay with him. He confirmed.

I thought about bringing up my possible infection and asking him to wear a condom (which would likely open up a conversation I wasn’t ready to have) but then realized he probably already had whatever I had if it was sexually-transmitted, anyway.

The sex was awesome. He asked if he could cum inside me, as I was probably safe from becoming pregnant right before my period. I told him no, that it was too risky. What if I didn’t really start my period as expected?

I was stunned by his next question. He asked if he could come in my mouth or my ass. Uh, I didn’t realize we were already at that stage. Neither are enjoyable to me. I don’t care for anal sex and I have a sensitive gag reflex. I like giving blowjobs but I don’t like the taste of semen. The taste is bad enough – salty and bitter – but the texture is the worst: a cross between mucus and curdled milk.

It has caused me to vomit in the past. Not sexy.

But it doesn’t happen all the time, only sometimes, and I figured I’d take my chances. “Fuck it. Cum in my mouth.” I thought I was going to give him a blowjob. Nope. He pulled out and expected to cum in my open mouth.

Whaaattt?!

I didn’t open my mouth. I panicked when I realized what was happening, jerked my head, and the cum shot into my eye. That was not fun.

I used plenty of kleenex to clean myself up then we laid on his bed and talked for the next hour while listening to my awesome Spotify music playlist.

I got home around 1:30 am.

Tinder has been slow lately. Has anyone else noticed that? There is absolutely no interaction going on right now. Ghost town.

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