Before I go into details about my weekend with Texas, I realized that I forgot to mention my Friday mid-day meeting with Luxe.
I met him at his house after my chiropractic appointment. I walked into his house and noticed that he was playing Cat Stevens. What??!! Cat Stevens is one of my favorite musicians ever. I commented on this and he said, “Tea for the Tillerman is the best album.”
WHAT???!!! Yes, totally. Dude and I are too alike. Freaky.
We sat on the couch and talked a bit.I asked him if his Craigslist post for a cuddle partner was really a mask for no-strings-attached sex. He said no, but if that happened naturally it would be okay with him. Then he said, “Let’s go upstairs and do some cuddling.”
We undressed and cuddled. He gave me a nice back massage with his rowers hands and arms. He bent me over his knee and spanked my bare ass. We groped and kissed each other.
No sex, though. That will undoubtedly come next time. He invited me over for a glass of wine tonight but I have my kids. He emailed, “Are you playing hard to get?” When I said no, he said, “Good. Otherwise a firm spanking would be in order… or, maybe it should be anyway?”
I responded, “I think that’s a given regardless of my behavior.”
He wants to know when he can see me next.
So now onto Texas….
I decided that for his birthday gift, I would make him dinner. He has cooked for me once; I had never cooked for him before. It was time, especially for his birthday. I don’t love cooking and save it for special occasions.
He loves beef. I found a recipe for filet mignon with haricot verts. I needed a recipe for this because I don’t have much experience cooking beef steaks. I cook mostly chicken and ground beef.
He was excited by my proposal to cook him a birthday dinner. I brought a stainless steel pan with me, one that can go from burner to oven interchangeably. I wanted to bring my cast iron pan but had accidentally left that at Mars’. Oh well, I made do with stainless steel.
On Friday afternoon he asked me what time I could arrive. He said, “I’m available any time after 7 tonight.” Oops. Had I misunderstood? Did he invite me for Friday night, too?
I texted and told him I thought we were on for Saturday night. Or both? He responded, “I like both if you do.” Hell yes! I postponed my date with Mr. Promising and made plans to spend the entire weekend with Texas.
I arrived at his house at 9:30 Friday night. He presented me with a white nightgown to wear that evening, which I changed into. We spooned on the couch while watching Oblivion. He manually stimulated me during the second half then we had hot sex on his couch.
We did not get much sleep that night.
The next morning before heading to brunch, he presented me with a small remote-controlled vibrator he wanted me to wear in my underwear. He would control it… and he did so randomly. It was both hilarious and exciting.
He noticed the large bruise on my arm courtesy of my hot sexcapade with Colombian Hottie. It is hard to miss. He asked what had happened and I said I didn’t know. He asked incredulously, “Really?” He asked if he had done it last night and I said, no, I have noticed it for a couple days. I don’t know what happened, just that it hurt.
He knew what it was from.
We had brunch at a chicken and waffles place near his house, then we went to a sex shop a block away from the restaurant. I bought him a cock ring with attached clitoris stimulating vibrator. I bought myself lube and mint blowjob gel.
We headed back to his place and napped for two hours, went wine tasting at a tasting room near his house, then went shopping for birthday dinner groceries.
While unloading the groceries we had passionate sex on the kitchen counter. I sprained my left middle finger somehow.
That night for dinner I made filet mignon, haricot verts, and artichokes paired with French red wine. He loved it. It turned out nicely if I do say so myself. It was his first time eating a whole artichoke so I taught him how.
After dinner we watched Birdman then headed to bed. Once again, we did not get much sleep.
I felt very close and bonded to him the entire weekend. He was doting, calling me “baby” repeatedly during sex and also while cooking when I burned my hand on the pan handle. We held hands everywhere we went. The sex was passionate and intimate. And we slept curled together all night every night.
This morning he made me breakfast. Eggs, hash browns, bacon. After breakfast, he said he wanted to discuss some things. Uh oh.
He said he had noticed that I was getting multiple texts from guys all weekend (it was true… but how did he know?! He couldn’t see my phone screen) and wanted to know where he stood. Without hesitating, I told him he was at the top. I spent the entire weekend with him, after all. He is the one I am closest with by far.
And then I turned the tables and asked him where I stood. He is Mr. Open Relationship, after all. He, like me, said I was at the top… but that the “top” was a stretch because he was only seeing one other woman and he only saw her infrequently. She is not “relationship material”. I am.
He then said he wanted to move to the next level and see me more often. Long discussion followed. We have critical differences. He wants an open relationship; I am dating only until I find someone I can be monogamous with. I told him I was enjoying my time with him while it lasted, that I really cared about him, but that he ultimately couldn’t give me what I needed (monogamy).
He said he has scaled way back on dating, is no longer active on OK Cupid and Tinder, and is no longer seeking new women to date. That was good news to me.
I told him that I’m dating. A lot and often. I want to fall in love and be monogamous.
We both acknowledged that continuing our relationship was risky. I’d get hurt if I got too attached and became upset by his polyamory. He’d get hurt if I eventually found someone I wanted to get serious with.
I told him what I needed from him… mainly more responsive text communications. He agreed to work on it.
I had a lot of questions for him, mainly about his actions in the past. I was right about his perceived distance in the past, as he said he made deliberate decisions to pull away at certain points but then would change his mind.
We talked it out for about an hour and then… we agreed to become more serious. Are we crazy?! It was a decision fueled by emotions. It makes absolutely no logical sense.
We have been dating for 6 months for a reason; we like each other too much to call it quits. The thought of not seeing him again crushes me. And yet… a relationship with him seems destined to fail. Open vs. closed relationships are a controversial topic, one we have agreed to disagree on.
The only way it will work is if one of us changes our mind.
In the meantime, we will press on. Time will tell.