As you know by now, the past week-and-a-half has been tumultuous. First, Texas and I became a couple but were not exclusive. He wanted an open relationship; I didn’t. So, naturally, I told him I was going to continue dating. My goal, after all, was to ultimately find someone I could have a monogamous committed relationship with.
Then he found the blog and shit hit the fan. I was mortified that he had read what I consider to be my private diary. As you already know, my blog includes very detailed information about my dating habits, sex life, and the guys I was dating. I felt violated and literally sick to my stomach.
However, I can’t say I wouldn’t have tried finding his dating & sex blog if the tables were turned. I just didn’t think mine was that easy to find. I thought finding a single blog among thousands would be like finding a needle in a haystack. I was wrong.
His finding my blog so easily made me question the blog’s privacy and freaked me out a bit. When I found out there was a “privacy breach” (i.e. his finding the blog), I immediately set it to private. I soon questioned that and set it to public again, but trashed most of the entries.
Texas and I met and talked/cried/yelled for 7 hours straight. He told me he wasn’t sure we were fixable. I was devastated that something so incredible could be destroyed in an instant.
He told me he needed some time to sort things out. He wasn’t sure he wanted to see me again.
I went home, exhausted. I decided I was going to give up dating, with or without Texas, for a while and do some soul-searching. Over the next three days, Texas and I had extensive phone discussions. We didn’t hold anything back. He discussed his concerns going forward; I discussed mine.
I told him I was no longer dating. I, of course, still wanted to see him but would no longer be dating others. I couldn’t rectify it in my mind. If I wanted to spend all my free time with Texas, how would seeing others fit in? This was more complicated than I expected.
And then, quite shockingly, Texas decided he was all in… but not only that, he wanted to be monogamous with me as well. I heard angels sing. I cried. This is what I’d always wanted with Texas but never thought was an option. Suddenly, it was not only an option but reality.
Days later and I’m still reeling about how this all went down. I went from serial dating to a monogamous committed relationship overnight.
Not only are we monogamous, but he is now showering me with compliments. I jokingly asked him if it was because he read my blog and knew that’s what I wanted but he said no, that he wanted to all along but didn’t as a protective mechanism, as a way to distance himself.
He has also been doing amazingly well with the text communications. I love the sweet little texts throughout the day just to let me know that he’s thinking of me.
I feel extremely lucky. I am ecstatic!
He asked to share his side of the story on my blog and I loved the idea. I was touched that he wanted to. I, of course, reviewed and approved everything he wrote before publishing. It may have looked like he had hacked into my account and started posting without my knowledge but that wasn’t the case. Hahaha.
I restored all my blog entries.
So where lies the future of this blog? I don’t yet know. I obviously won’t be dating anyone but Texas. I may blog about our relationship and/or our sex life. That is still to be determined.
As for the privacy issue, I did revise my posts about Luxe, erasing or modifying specific details to better protect his privacy.
Next post: How my dates took the news that I am now exclusively dating someone. Stay tuned!