I never expected having to break the news to my current guys and/or upcoming dates about a new relationship so soon. I had my head in the clouds, living my life one day at a time. How and what I was going to tell them didn’t even occur to me since a relationship with anyone seemed so far off. My monogamous relationship with Texas happened quite suddenly. As a result, I knew this news would come as a shock to the other guys.
I started cancelling upcoming dates and/or breaking the news with current guys when Texas and I were still in negotiations, before I knew we would still be seeing each other, because I knew I wanted to take a break from dating while I sorted out my feelings. This news was easy to tell. I simply said I was taking a break from dating to work out some personal issues.
One guy, who I’d had one date with back in November and had finally scheduled a second date with, was very understanding. He told me I was doing the right thing. He’s a dad to two young kids, separated from his wife, so he ‘got it’.
Another guy, the first date newbie who was going to cook me dinner, was not as understanding. He was confused and kept trying to push the date. He said, “Let’s still meet, just to see if we have chemistry.” What??!! Umm, no. After some back and forth via text, he eventually dropped the issue.
I also told another guy, a blond Don Draper look-alike, who had been texting me regularly since our first date in mid December, when he recently asked to meet up again. We had intense chemistry and a fantastic first date but he lives over an hour away, is a workaholic attorney, and squirrely so a second date wasn’t easy to schedule. He was pretty disappointed but, true to form, has still been texting his usual “truth or dare?” questions. I have been ignoring them.
I told yet another guy, who I’d never met but have been regularly texting since October. He is 27, attends UC Santa Barbara, and was planning to relocate to San Francisco after graduating this spring with his Masters degree. When he said he was going to be in San Francisco for the weekend, I had to break the news to him. He was very sweet about it, asking if everything was okay and if there was anything he could do to help. Awww.
Once Texas and I became exclusive, I had to break a different kind of news… this time letting the guys know I am now in a relationship and no longer available to see them.
Colombian Hottie did not take the news too well. He seemed hurt and passive-aggressive. He was giving me one-word replies at first like “ok” and “cool”. I asked him if he was mad and he said no, he’s always happy. Snarky? Maybe. I felt bad. The last things he said, though, were, “Good for you” and “Wish you the best” so in the end I don’t think he’s too bent out of shape. Phew.
Luxe was happy for me. He said he hopes to find a relationship as well and wished me luck. He did keep the door open, asking me to keep in touch if things didn’t work out with Texas.
Newbie musician guy who I’d been texting with since November but had never met took the news well. The most ironic part is that he finally asked me on a first date the day after Texas and I became a couple. What are the odds of that?!
I still have not told Mr. Promising, The Blond Mandarin, Ivy League, Superman, and Cleveland. I’m waiting for the right time.
The Blond Mandarin asked me out for last Friday. On Friday afternoon. What the fuck?! His text message was a curt, “You free tonight?” He’s squirrely and obviously not that serious. I would have told him the news I was off the market but I was en-route to my sister’s out-of-town dinner party and got stuck in horrendous traffic. Plus, the kids were fighting. I was overwhelmed and couldn’t bear to text anything other than, “No, I’m out of town.” I didn’t hear back from him.
When I told my friend Lola I had heard from The Blond Mandarin again, she rolled her eyes and asked, “What did that clown want?” She is not a fan of him.
Ivy League has been silent since I cancelled our Friday plans almost two weeks ago. He didn’t even respond to acknowledge our cancelled plans. Nice.
I wonder if I should tell Mr. Promising by phone and not text. Hmmm. Decisions, decisions. But maybe telling him by phone would be making a big deal about nothing. I am obviously over-thinking this.
Breaking news: I just received a text from Superman while typing that last sentence. I’m going to tell him my news now….