Both kids were home sick from school yesterday. As is very rare for me, time was passing like molasses. I took advantage of the “extra time” by unpacking some boxes from the move. (Nevermind the embarrassing fact that I’ve been here for over 2 months already….)
As I was unpacking the desk box, I came across my marital wish list. I had made this list in early 2011, three months after starting marital counseling and right after Mars and I “re-consummated” our marriage after a 2 year 2 month dry spell. I was excited, eager, and full of hope that maybe we could save our marriage, after all.
After delicious mid-day lovemaking, I shared the list with him over lunch at the Beach Chalet. It was a Tuesday. The kids were at school. Mars used to work from home on Tuesdays and my part-time schedule meant I used to have Tuesdays off.
My Wish List
-Reconnect daily after the kids are in bed for at least 10 minutes
-Sex at least 1x/week
-Say “I love you” regularly – start with 1x/month
-Take on some daily chores: kid drop off/pick-up, toy pick-up, laundry, dishes, etc.
-“Unplug from computer” nights – 1x/week
-Date nights – at least 2x/month
-Reconnect with friends – approx. once every 6 weeks
It was a start. It covered my most basic physical and emotional needs but, of course, didn’t factor in what really mattered, things like passion and respect. That would hopefully come later.
Mars didn’t seem surprised by my list. We discussed it for a bit. I asked him to make one of his own. He didn’t.
He also did not fulfill a single item on my wish list, come to think of it. I don’t think it was an unreasonable list.