I just returned from getting my very first Brazilian wax. Oh, yes I did! I read a lot of reviews beforehand but, honestly, I can and will provide much more detail than anything I’d read. I pride myself on oversharing, after all!

My friend Lola had her very first Brazilian two weeks ago and highly recommended the place where she had gone. Yelp reviews confirmed that this place was awesome. I made my appointment for today because I would likely have enough growth after my last bikini shaving on Sunday (before I decided to get a Brazilian) and enough time for my labial irritation to calm down before getting into a bathing suit on the Sacramento River on Saturday. I was cutting it close on both accounts.

Most information I’d read said you need to have at least 5 days of growth, preferably 2 weeks, before getting waxed. I only had 4 days of growth but, fortunately, it wasn’t a problem. My hair grows super fast. As in: I have to shave my bikini area and my armpits daily. In 4 days, I’m fairly sure I had the minimum of 1/4″ of growth. Yes, my hair grows that fast!

Even if it wasn’t long enough, I vowed that I would still go through with the waxing and then tweeze the bikini area myself if I had to. Thank god I didn’t have to.

I thought long and hard about if and what hair I wanted to leave. A Brazilian, by definition, usually includes leaving a small bit of hair above the pubic bone. Most leave a small triangle or a “landing strip” (narrow rectangle). Technically, removing it all is called a Hollywood.

I decided I was going to leave a small triangle. Then, I started asking my friends who got waxed what they did. I was surprised to find that most said they went completely bare a la Hollywood style. Curiously, most said they started off leaving a small bit of hair but, over time, took more and more off each time until they were completely bare. One friend said she went bare accidentally (her waxer spaced out and took off the small patch while they were deep in conversation).

Almost all said they didn’t like the look of being completely bare but loved the feeling. I knew it would be the same for me. All bare it was!

I arrived a little early for my appointment. I was nervous as hell that it would be painful. I’d heard conflicting information about the first experience. Most said the pain was horrific; some said it wasn’t as bad as they expected. Lola, however, said it wasn’t bad at all. I have a high pain tolerance so I figured my experience would be similar.

The receptionist offered me a glass of wine while I waited, which I gladly accepted. I made sure to drink it all quickly to calm my nerves.

Soon, my waxer led me into the room and told me to undress and use the wet wipes. She left the room and gave me privacy while I used three wet wipes to completely wipe myself down, followed by a few Kleenex to dry myself off. Then I sat on the table and called out to her that I was ready.

She entered the room and told me to lay back and make myself comfortable. She asked me to put my legs in the butterfly position, i.e. feet together with knees apart.

Then she began.

The warm wax was soothing. She worked on the bikini line and pubic bone first. Holy hell that hurt! I’d say an 8 on 1-10 pain scale. Every time she pulled a strip off, I’d clench my legs and automatically bring them up. She had to keep reminding me to relax my legs and put them down. Oops.

I yelled “ow!” a couple times and apologized several times for flinching and clenching. As she moved closer to the labia minora it was shockingly a little less painful. I’d say a 6 on the pain scale.

Then she had me turn on my side to wax in between my cheeks. Not bad at all! I’d say a 4.

Then she had me turn over onto my back and butterfly my legs once again so she could tweeze about a dozen strays. This hurt! About a 7.

She applied lotion everywhere then told me I could get dressed. My entire pubic area stung like the dickens and was beet red.

My skin still stings almost 2 hours later. The redness is mostly gone. And… I despise the way it looks. *sigh* I may decide to let some hair grow back for a small triangle.

I made another appointment in 4 weeks in order to get a discount. (If you go once/month you get $10 off.)

My waxer, who is the owner of the salon, says the first wax is always the worst. Pain level for the second wax is about half the pain of the first, and then it just continues to get less painful each time thereafter.

I will be testing this theory.

UPDATE: 16 hours later and I’m still in discomfort. My skin is still red and “dotted”. I suppose I’m just one of those unlucky people that has extremely sensitive skin. I even used an ice pack for a while last night. Showering this morning was uncomfortable. And, horrifically, I even have an ingrown hair already. After my shower I wiped down the entire area with rubbing alcohol and applied Neosporin, then applied coconut oil in an attempt to calm everything down. Ugh. I am not enjoying this yet.

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