Kids are intuitive. Mine have been asking a lot of questions about Texas lately. They mainly want to know why he’s not at the house as much. They definitely notice his absence.

All four of us bonded so much more during our spring break trip so it’s heartbreaking to return from a fun vacation to this.

Last night while my son was engaging in a rare post-bath snuggle with me, he asked if I wasn’t with Texas anymore. I was surprised. Was it that obvious? I told him I wasn’t. He wanted to know why.

I told him we had “grown-up problems”.

He responded, “Mama, maybe I can fix this. I’ll talk with Texas.”

I told him it was complicated, that we wanted different things.

He responded, “That’s easy. Just want what he wants.”

I told him it wasn’t that easy but that Texas still loves us, and that he’ll still be in their lives.

He replied, “I love Texas. I want him here all the time. Every day.”

My heart bled. I have failed my kids once again: first with their dad and now with Texas.

I cried myself to sleep.