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I find it interesting that things with Hayden and Joaquin are heating up at the same rate, that I met them at the same time (1 day apart), and that they both approached me on OK Cupid without being matched first. (This was a pattern I noticed in the past with great guys on OK Cupid – maybe there is something to it, after all.)

I saw both Joaquin and Hayden this weekend upon getting back into town.

Hayden came over Saturday night with cocktail fixings. We watched TV, drank cranberry & limon rum cocktails, and had lots of sex. He came prepared with an overnight bag so he stayed the night. Sunday morning we went out to breakfast before we parted to run errands.

I continue to be intrigued by Hayden. I am questioning how long this will last based upon personality differences, but I’m not overthinking it. Despite his classic good looks, he dresses and speaks a bit nerdy. Yesterday I found out he was a big partier in college, though, which took me by surprise.

He is sweet, polite, funny, and incredible in bed. He can get hard and perform again – even ejaculate again – after just 5 minutes of recharge. Very impressive. The sex is a little vanilla otherwise, but he has told me he’d like to get more adventurous.

Also, he’s an incredible cuddler. I get goosebumps just thinking about it.

I slept in his t-shirt that night. The next morning he told me to keep it as a “sex memento”. Haha. Of course I did.

My time with Hayden felt very intimate.

Sunday’s visit with Joaquin was very impromptu. He sent me a very sweet text Sunday afternoon telling me that he was thinking about me a lot and that he could hardly wait until Wednesday (our 3rd date). I responded and told him this “seeing him once/week business” wasn’t cutting it for me. He said he’d hightail it over right then and there if I was available, and I told him to arrive ASAP.

We had an awesome sex session before taking an urban hike around my neighborhood. He was blown away by the views. It was a perfect day: sunny and warm-ish. Conversation was easy, as always. He acknowledges he’s intense, but I appreciate his passion. I also like that he’s emotionally mature beyond his years. I don’t remember how we got on this topic, but when he was talking about other women he had dated, he basically said, “Lauren, you are amazing. You are different and one-of-a-kind. I’ve never known anyone like you. I don’t want to overthink things, but I like you and want to keep seeing you.”

And he mentioned wanting to take me to Palm Springs once he “has the money thing figured out” and has his bar exam results.

I apologized for not texting him earlier in the weekend to let him know I was back in town, and for not texting to tell him that my nephew was successfully born without complications (my sister had a high-risk pregnancy). I hadn’t texted him because I sensed he had an aversion to texting. I didn’t want to feel like I was bothering him. He acknowledged he has anxiety around texting… but only with women he dates and with his parents. He gets overwhelmed by texting expectations.

I was glad I asked. It made me feel better to get confirmation that my suspicion was correct. He told me he didn’t want me to feel like I couldn’t text him, though.

We had sex again after returning from our neighborhood walk. We left my house together when it was time for me to pick up my kids from my ex.

I’m not sure if Joaquin and I are ultimately a great match, but I love spending time with him. I plan to just take it one day at a time.

I’m looking forward to seeing him on Wednesday. I don’t yet have a date scheduled for seeing Hayden again, as we’re both going to be out-of-town next weekend and I have only 2 kid-free nights this week, both of which are already scheduled. But he did text me last night saying he can’t wait to see me again and that we need to work something out soon.

In fact, both guys always send super sweet “it was great seeing you, can’t wait to see you again” texts immediately after our dates. They give me warm fuzzy feelings.

I’m a little worried that things are progressing so quickly and at the same rate with both guys. What are the odds of that?! I’m not ready to make a choice.

Here’s something troubling….

At one point during sex with Hayden, I suddenly thought of Joaquin. And at one point during sex with Joaquin, I thought of Hayden.

It was disconcerting. What the fuck is happening?! What does this even mean?

I feel like I have 2 boyfriends. And both boyfriends are completely different from each other, and completely different from me.

Oh, the drama.