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Since the Clark debacle, I’ve seen Joaquin, Hayden, Smolder, and Colombian Hottie. I’m more confused than ever. My time is becoming harder to schedule and I feel like I’m being stretched too thin. I don’t have enough free time to go around. Logic tells me I should simplify and reduce… but I still don’t know who I’d prune from my life. I love spending time with each guy for different reasons. Add in trying to schedule a 2nd date with Harry and 1st dates with a couple newbies and things are becoming awkward.

I’ve lamented to 2 different friends about what the fuck I should do. One said there should be a modern-day Miss Manners to consult about such dating dilemmas (is there?). The other friend said I should just hang in there until things become more clear.

And, of course, I’m guessing none of them are “The One” if I have the desire to keep meeting newbies. But for the life of me, I don’t know what I’m looking for. I don’t know if I’d know if I found it! It’s possible I’m looking for perfection. (Yeah, good luck with that, Lauren!)

I become easily attached to people. I’ve always known this. It’s hard to say goodbye to people who play a role in my life, no matter how small. I am still friends with every significant ex-boyfriend I’ve ever had. I’d still be friends with the others if we were still in contact.

At this point in time, I feel closest to Hayden. He’s so sweet and genuine. He’s a master cuddler. But he’s not great with communications between dates… and I need that.

Joaquin is not great with communications between dates, either, but when he does reach out, I am blown away by his emotional intensity. Here’s a snippet from a text he sent since our date on Thursday: “…Really, it’s so nice hanging with you, something so easy and natural and intimate and soothing – and that’s such a fucking turn on….” He is exactly right: I’ve felt the same way about our time together. Another downfall is he’s almost always late – an annoyance for someone like me who always feels like I’m crunched for time.

Smolder is a little squirrely. He disappeared for 3 weeks then reached out again wanting to get together. When I asked him what happened, he said he was “going through some shit.” Fair enough. There’s something about him that draws me in (I mean… besides his gorgeous dark eyes and long eyelashes). He is passionate. But he, too, is not great with text communications.

And then there’s beloved Colombian Hottie. Slow and steady wins the race, right? He keeps coming back for more. He’s reliable. But for the life of me, I still don’t know what dude wants. I’m pretty sure it’s not just sex or he would have moved along long ago.

And Harry. Sweet, fun, and full of excitement. And he is one of the few that’s good with text communications. Plus 1 point for him! [Side note: I should change his name to Cary. I was showing a close friend a pic of him and she was stunned. She said, “Um, hello Cary Elwes!” from Princess Bride. She’s totally right.]


Cary, aka Harry


A possible issue I see is that all these guys are young. One is 26, two are 30, one is 31, and one is 32. Of the newbies I will be meeting as soon as my schedule clears, one is 25 and one is 33. Why am I not hitting it off with more age-appropriate dudes? Should I be concerned? And is it possible to have a healthy long-term relationship with such a large age difference?

I suppose time will tell.

Coming up next: Details of my dates with Joaquin, Hayden, Smolder, and Colombian Hottie. Good times with sweet guys. Lots of sex, too!