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I saw Harry/Cary on Tuesday night and Joaquin last night.

My 2nd date with Harry/Cary was… weird. We met in one of my neighborhood bars. He wasn’t his usual talkative self and seemed distracted. After a couple drinks, I suggested we head to the neighborhood lookout point since it was an unusually gorgeous, clear night. We enjoyed an amazing view but didn’t stay too long. We headed back to my house. The sex was awesome and passionate but was over quickly. He was gone by 10:30 after refusing my offer to stay overnight. I was left confused and wondering what the fuck just happened.

He had been up extra early that morning for work, and had to be up extra early the next morning. I knew he was tired. But still!

He sent a sweet text after getting home (“I had a blast tonight!”), then another sweet text the next morning (“Had a great night and some great sleep”). Nothing since.

Eh, I think I can safely say that the Harry/Cary ship has sailed.

My date last night with Joaquin was awesome. I went to his place in Marin County for the first time. He lives in a redwood canyon; absolutely breathtaking! We took a walk in the canyon to the little downtown area and back, then went out for Mexican food and frozen yogurt. Back at his place, he opened all the windows, turned off the lights, and placed candles everywhere. The candles flickered in the breeze. It was gorgeous and so romantic.

Last night he serenaded me again, this time with his electric guitar. Swoon.

He is such a sweet host. He was doting, asking me if I had everything I needed. And this morning he made me coffee and offered me breakfast before carrying my suitcase to the car. (I brought a suitcase rather than an overnight bag because he had requested I bring a selection of clothing – skirts, tops, dresses, lingerie – so that he could “dress me up”. That was fun!)

He again mentioned that he didn’t want to hear about my dating life only because he sometimes struggles with jealousy. He said it’s better if he just doesn’t know. Fair enough. For the record, I don’t want to hear about his, either. He has told me about past dates… but they were before we met.

This morning, on my drive into the office from his house, I felt blissful. It was a gorgeous fall morning. I drove through the speckled light of the redwood canyon and across the Richmond-San Rafael Bridge with glistening water below while listening to a sweet new Spotify playlist. My day was off to a great start.

I fully admit that I am developing strong feelings for Joaquin. With our age and life-stage differences, I’m not sure it’s a good idea… but we get along well and always have a lot of fun together. I have to remind myself that some things defy logic, to relax, and let things unfold as they will.

I have plans to see Hayden tomorrow night. I haven’t seen him in over a week. It’s overdue!