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Hayden came over last night. He very sweetly offered to order pizza take-out for all four of us for dinner. I had some reservations about allowing it (it’s not his responsibility to feed my kids)… but he wanted to do it and I didn’t want to discourage him. He said it was only fair since I’m providing the booze and I also bought pizza last week for all of us. Ok, fair enough.

After dinner, my son chatted with his best friend for the rest of the evening while my daughter watched a movie on my phone. Hayden and I settled onto the couch to snuggle and watch one of my all-time favorite movies, The Crow. I watch it almost every year right before Halloween; Hayden hadn’t see it before. We drank Belgian Hoegaarden beer and French sauvignon blanc.

After the kids were in bed, Hayden and I retreated to my bedroom and had awesome sex before passing out in each other’s arms… only to wake up an hour later and do it all over again.

It was raining last night. We both love rain; it was sweetly romantic listening to the pelting rain and wind outside while we were wrapped up in each other’s arms in my warm bed in the dark.

He left early this morning in the wet darkness. I’m sad that I probably won’t see him again until Friday.

I am officially pissed about Joaquin. I will have words with him when I see him next. Probably tomorrow but who knows, as he’s been completely silent. I responded to Sunday night’s text yesterday morning, even asking him a question, and still have not received a response.

I take it, right or wrong, as a personal affront. He knows how I feel about needing somewhat regular text communications and yet he’s choosing to either ignore my text or deliberately not answer it. This is  a huge pet peeve of mine.

So, yes… despite our intense connection and the electric sex, this isn’t good enough for me. I find this behavior incredibly disrespectful.

I also acknowledge that if I were still dating & juggling lots of people and not seeing Hayden, this texting behavior might not bother me as much as it currently does. I am uncharacteristically hurt. I know I should cut my losses now; a relationship with Joaquin will probably never be easy or even that satisfying given our differences. I feel compelled to pursue it for intuitive reasons.

I hope he has a good explanation. And if not, I hope I don’t chicken out in telling him what I want and need to say. I hope I can stay calm and rational without attacking him or getting too intense, as I have a tendency to do when I’m hurt.

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