I re-read my last post and am appalled by how over-reactive, childish, and petty I sound. I sound like a raving lunatic.
I really do spin out of control easily.
The good news is that I feel much better today. Hayden came over last night. It felt like nothing had changed at all; we were touchy feely lovey as usual. It would have been easy to overlook my concerns but I knew I’d spin out of control again if I didn’t address them.
So, after the kids were in bed and a bottle of wine and a passionate fuck session down, I casually asked him if everything was okay because I had sensed he was being distant. He immediately apologized and said that he’d do better, that everything was fine but that he’d been unusually stressed at work. He explained the data that he was collecting and why it was so personally important to him. He also said that it was now finished.
I also brought up his apparent resistance to the idea of me seeing his place. I said, “I want to get you an electric blanket for Christmas but I don’t know what size blanket to get because I don’t even know what size bed you have.” He replied, “Aw, honey. You are welcome to come to my place. My place is a messy pig-sty and it’s more comfortable and spacious here. I have nothing to hide from you if that’s what you’re concerned about.”
He was very sweet and genuine. I had warm fuzzies.
I did not explicitly address my future texting needs but I’m pretty sure they were implied. If they weren’t – and there are more communications issues in the future – I plan to bring them up immediately before I get obsessive. I’ll have to nip the spiraling in the bud. Lesson learned.
All’s well that ends well.