The follow-up chat with Hayden went amazingly well. After we had dinner and before we started a movie (Sausage Party – completely outrageous; hands-down the craziest movie I’ve ever seen), I asked him what he thought of our chat the other night. I reiterated that I wanted to spend more quality time with him.
He took over from there.
He said he wanted to spend weekends with me. He said, “I can come over on Friday night and stay until about 9 pm on Sunday. Does that work for you?”
Holy hell. Whoa! That was a lot of time. Could he really do that?! I told him that I needed alone time, too, but not nearly as much as he did. I said my ideal was Friday night through Sunday late morning or early afternoon. He was suggesting a lot more. How would he feel about that?
He said he doesn’t need a lot of downtime, it’s just that he doesn’t like to be away from home for long unless he plans ahead for it. He says he gets anxious otherwise. I told him that’s normal – I don’t like to be away from home for long unplanned periods of time, either.
He assured me that spending weekends together wouldn’t be a problem since he now knows to plan ahead. I reminded him that he only needs to plan ahead for my kid-free weekends. Of course, if he wanted to spend weekends with me and the kids, I would be thrilled with that, too.
I’ll have my kids this weekend. He said he wants to spend half of it with us. He’d probably spend the entire weekend if his dad wasn’t coming into town to visit him and his brother on Sunday.
He also said that he wants to plan a weekend road trip with me. We discussed possible destinations and eventually decided on spending a weekend in a charming historic town in the Sierra Nevada foothills. He offered to make the hotel reservations after we’ve decided on a date.
I also suggesting making a wish list of things we’d like to do on our kid-free weekend days. He didn’t have any ideas yet but he liked my suggestions and said we could do a couple of mine first. We already have our first kid-free Saturday planned out: Visiting the newly re-opened MOMA then exploring Chinatown.
His birthday is coming up in 2.5 weeks. I asked him if he had any special plans yet; he said no. I’ll have the kids that evening but told him I’d like to cook him dinner and bake a birthday cake. He told me he’d love that.
The entire conversation took only 20 minutes. Easy and drama-free. I was ecstatic. He exceeded my expectations.
Neither of us drank a drop of alcohol the entire evening. I had a tiny bit of white wine leftover from a few nights prior and offered it to him during dinner. He declined. We drank about 4 liters of sparkling water instead.
Our first serious conversation had a successful outcome. What a relief!