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This weekend has been rough. I miss Hayden like crazy.

I didn’t want to be alone Friday night. Knowing that my son was having a couple friends over for sleepover at Mars’ house, I asked Mars if I could take my daughter for our own girls’ sleepover here at my house. My daughter was excited by the idea and Mars was fine with it.

After work on Friday, I relished in my leisurely pedicure. Afterward, I took myself out to Thai food. I suddenly became overcome with emotion and started crying in the restaurant.

I picked up my daughter at Mars’ house on the way home. Back at my place, she wanted to watch Rio. She fell asleep about 30 minutes in, then I watched a Netflix comedy special.

I made her pancakes the next morning, then dropped her off at Mars’ so I could start my sprint training. After the deluge of rain for several days, we finally had some gorgeous weather yesterday. It was nice being out in the sun. I pushed myself hard; it felt really good.

I heard from The Blond Mandarin Friday night. He sent me a text wishing me a happy lunar new year. We engaged in some back & forth banter. Then he said, “I hope the man is working out. I’ll try to refrain from flirting.”

Deep breath. I told him my man had just broken up with me on Wednesday, that it was a surprise, and I was torn up about. He told me he was sorry to hear that.

The Blond Mandarin is good for my fragile ego. He peppered his texts with terms of endearment like princess and angel. He said, “You’re such a beautiful girl. Classically beautiful.”

I thanked him, told him he was just saying sweet things to cheer me up, but I appreciated the kind words anyway.

He said, “No, I think you’re beautiful. You remind me of Charlotte from Sex and the City. Very pure and cute and perky and just darling.” Awww. That Blond Mandarin!

He asked for a photo so I sent him one. He exclaimed at the length of my hair. I said, “I’m getting it chopped tomorrow.”

He asked if we could meet before my salon appointment for coffee. I agreed and told him there’s a Starbucks half a block away from my salon. He said that would be great.

We were both right on time. I was ordering a cup of decaf when he walked in. We hugged each other in a tight embrace. It had been a long time since I’d seen him. Neither of us could remember how long it had been. Almost a year? Over a year? Who knows.

While we were waiting for a coffee, a woman in her 50s walked over to us and said, “I was behind you both in line and I couldn’t hear what you were saying, but I just had to tell you: You both look really happy to see each other. You look radiant.”

I told her we were happy to see each other; it had been a long time since we’d seen each other. But wasn’t that a sweet thing to say?

The Blond Mandarin and I sat down at a table and caught up for an hour. He quit his job last July. He’s going to be an uncle for the first time in a couple months. He showed me photos of his brother’s dog. We talked about our Chinese signs. He’s a fire tiger; I’m a metal dog.

It was great seeing him. While we were chatting, my stylist called and said he could see me early for the appointment. Perfect! I said goodbye to The Blond Mandarin then walked to my salon.

My stylist, Rick, said he didn’t recognize me when I walked in. He said, “You look so young! And your hair is so long.”

Rick made me look awesome. I love my new cut and color. The color is glossy and caramel-y. The cut is a couple inches shorter with a little more layering, making it swingy and sexy. It highlights my features.

I told him all about the Joaquin and Hayden saga over the past 3 months and how, after all that, I was now single again as of last Wednesday. As I was leaving, he said, “Promise me you’re not going home after this. At least go to the grocery store! People need to see your gorgeous hair.” I laughed and told him I was indeed going to the grocery store to pick up dinner and beer.

Back at home, I ate cannelloni for dinner from the grocery store, guzzled 3 beers, and then passed out on the couch while watching Crazy Heart. I woke up around midnight with a really bad neckache. Ugh. Still in pain but Advil is helping a little.

Now I’m heading out to meet my mom in a nearby city for lunch and margaritas. We meet halfway occasionally so we can see each other.

Tonight Mars and the kids are coming over for the fancy dinner I was going to make for Hayden. At least someone will appreciate it.

I’m feeling really down. I’m trying to stay positive and trying to keep busy.