Last night I re-read Hayden’s texts and several blog entries for signs of impending breakup. There were no signs.
In addition to all the heartwarming things I’ve written here, I do recall him telling me about a week prior to breaking up with me that seeing me was always the highlight of his day. He looked me square in the eyes and said, “And that’s an understatement. I love seeing you. I look forward to it all day. Seeing you is the best part of my day by far.”
So then what the fuck happened?!
Adding fuel to the fire, I also remember that he didn’t say he was sorry for blindsiding me. I clearly told him I was blindsided, that this came out of nowhere, and that I was having a hard time processing what was happening. Isn’t that a cue for an apology? Or at least an explanation? I didn’t get either.
I will not be responding to the text he sent yesterday, which means I may not see him on Monday as planned. (By the way, Monday is his birthday. Jill told me I’d better not fucking think about baking him a cake like I was planning when we were still together. Haha! I love that she holds me accountable.)
If I do see him, though, I plan on asking him two questions: 1) Why he didn’t give me any indication that he was having second thoughts, and 2) How he found himself homeless.
I think his answer to the second question will be more insightful.