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My dopamine & serotonin withdrawal from Hayden is nearly complete. I don’t think about him nearly as much as I used to and I’m settling into my new normal without him.

I’m re-learning how to exist without him. I’m forming new habits.

I’ve been doing some thinking about dating. My desired age range still remains set at 30-50. However, despite swiping right on a wide range of ages, I mostly only match with younger 30-somethings.

I’m perplexed by this. Why are the older men not interested? The ones I have matched with have been rude and/or flaky. I had a coffee date lined up earlier this week with a guy about my age. We agreed to meet in downtown San Francisco on our way into our offices. He said he’d choose a place and get back to me. I didn’t hear back from him.

I prefer dating 30-somethings for several reasons but I’m becoming concerned that they will ultimately be unable to provide what I want: a stable, monogamous, long-term relationship. I can’t fault them for not knowing what they want next week, let alone in 1 year, and their ideals of whether or not they want a family of their own will likely change as they get older.

I feel like I may be playing with fire and being reckless with my heart by continuing to date young dudes… but what am I to do? The older dudes tend to be rude, flaky, or simply uninterested.