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My Valentine’s bouquet is now mostly wilted and my chocolates are almost gone…but the fun is not over yet! Clothing from my personal stylist, a Valentine’s gift to myself, is due to arrive by Friday.

That should cheer me up.

I’ve been missing Hayden a lot. I am pretty sure this is one of the toughest breakups I’ve ever experienced, partly because it was sudden, partly because we had no major incompatibilities, and partly because his reason for breaking up still doesn’t make much sense to me (I don’t believe it’s because he wants kids someday). He’s an idiot. He’s an idiot for throwing away something that was real and pure. I loved and adored him.

I feel like recovering from this breakup has followed a pattern of 2 steps forward, 1 step back. There are still days I backslide, including this weekend.

Online dating continues to baffle. I’ve had some great conversations on Bumble that suddenly result in radio silence. I’ve noticed this pattern on Bumble in the past.

I’m tired of 20-somethings messaging me out of the blue on OK Cupid and asking if I’ve seen The Graduate *wink wink* or if I’ve had “funtimes” with younger guys. Or if I’ve ever had or been interested in casual sex.

Kids, please.

Or the 33 year old on Bumble who insisted I get a babysitter last night so that we could get a drink, explore the city, and make “crazy, passionate love”. Immediate unmatch.

I was so disgruntled by it all that I reactivated Clover last night… and was shocked when I saw that my account was still active and I had several messages and about a hundred likes since logging out (I thought I’d deactivated) in early October.

There are a couple new features on Clover since I was last active. One is the Dates feature. Clover will suggest matches for you and you can then say “I’m interested” or “no thanks”.

I decided to try it out just to see what would happen. I said I was interested in dates with two guys. Clover gave me the option to suggest a time and place or to ask him to suggest a time and place. I opted for the latter. My date requests are pending. I’ll keep you updated.

The other new feature is the Mixers area. They are, basically, discussion forums for anything from “Looking For Long-Term” to “Fitness Singles” to “Walking Dead”. I checked out a few of them and they consist entirely of people posting things like “Hey” with the occasional “Anyone in London/Baltimore/Orlando/fill in the blank?” No thank you.

There are some locally named Mixers for San Francisco, as well, which I find much more appealing. However, they appear to be mostly unused since early January.

I have an online dating mixer idea that I’m trying to figure out how to bring to fruition. I thought it would be fun to invite 5 or so guys I’m interested in that I haven’t yet met to a mixer at a bar, then have them invite 5 women each, have those women invite 5 guys each, etc. Instant “1st date” party with low pressure… and you’re maximizing time & effort by meeting 5 matches at the same time. Maybe Meetup is the best venue for organizing something like this?

I have a date with a particularly promising Bumble guy on Thursday night at a wine bar. (It will be my first drink since abstaining from alcohol over a week ago.) He’s 51, fit, active, attractive, professional, and has 3 teenage kids. The only thing that is concerning is that he lives in central Marin county, which I’m guessing is at least 30 minutes from here.

We’re meeting here in San Francisco for the first date. What happens after that is anyone’s guess. But, hey, it’s a first date. I won’t get ahead of myself here.

That guitarist guy I had a first date with a couple weeks ago wants to meet up again this week. We’ve been in regular contact.

I could have sworn I had a date scheduled for Tuesday night but I didn’t enter it into my calendar and now can’t remember who it was with. Oops.

I haven’t heard from Phil since our first date and don’t expect to. The sex was fun but I don’t think our personalities are compatible (i.e. I didn’t appreciate his arrogance or snark).

For a 3-day holiday weekend, it’s been a pretty cruddy weekend. The weather has continued to suck so I haven’t even been able to get outside and do anything fun with the kids.

Now, shoe shopping @ Nordstrom for both kids plus grocery shopping @ Trader Joe’s.

I hope all of you are enjoying your weekend!

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