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Still waiting for AGD’s text

That’s a joke, by the way. I don’t expect a response at this point.

I don’t regret meeting AGD. I wouldn’t have changed a thing. Our time spent together was perfect at that point in time. It was one of the best dates and best connections I’ve ever had.

Hayden came over to watch The Bachelor with us last night. He sent a text around 5 last night asking if we were still planning to watch. I responded, a little annoyed, with “Of course. We always watch on Mondays.” He responded with, “Haha, okay. Just double-checking. Can I come over and watch it with you?” I said sure.

He didn’t bring booze and I didn’t have any booze to offer him so we drank grapefruit juice instead. We were surprised and disappointed to find that this week’s episode is only 1 hour long, not the usual 2. And next week’s episode will be 3 hours long. Why?!

I put my daughter to bed then Hayden and I hung out on the couch chatting and watching The Voice… unfortunately, the apparent best choice of last night’s programming. At one point, he touched my hair and brushed it off my neck. And then, not long after, he suddenly gave me a big bear hug. Holy shit, that felt good. When I expressed my pleasure, he offered to give me a shoulder massage. God yes. It felt so good.

We hugged some more. He said, “I miss holding you” and I responded with, “I just miss you.” His eyes got red and he looked like he was about to cry.

Then I said, “I miss talking with you.” He offered to call me on Wednesday. I said sure. But… I think he missed the point. What I miss is our connection.

While hugging each other and kissing each other’s cheeks and necks, we’d occasionally miss our targets and kiss on the lips.

This went on for quite a while. Finally, he said, “I need to go or I’ll never leave. Holding you is addictive.”

I walked him to the door… then a full blown make-out ensued in the doorway for 15 minutes. I was tempted to ask him to stay but knew that I ultimately wouldn’t be able to handle it. Oh god, how I wanted to feel his skin and his body on mine again….

I knew it was dangerous territory for me.

He finally pulled himself away and blew me a kiss as he walked away and I shut the door.

I noticed that he had deactivated his OK Cupid profile on Saturday, the day before AGD did. I don’t know what to make of it.

At my friend’s birthday celebration at the Starlight Room on Saturday night, I hit it off with one of her friends. He’s 39, married, and has 3 young kids at home. I’d actually met him briefly once before at one of her parties. This guy is hot and has a magnetic personality. Since we were the only two who had come to the party solo, we mainly danced with just each other. He asked about Mars, and I told him we were now divorced. He was surprised to hear it. We connected over discussions about music, our kids, and my post-divorce financial outlook. (He’s a financial advisor.)

Imagine my shock when he sent me a message out of the blue via Facebook on Sunday. It was short and sweet… thanking me for chatting with him the night before and told me that I’m a lot of fun. I responded similarly.

Then he messaged again yesterday, embedding a video of a funny Dance Central routine that was a topic of conversation on Saturday night.

We exchanged a few brief, friendly messages before saying our goodbyes.

I’m not sure what to make of this. There is nothing sexual about his messages; he’s sweet, charming, and completely platonic. It’s refreshing and I’m glad he’s reaching out but I am a little confused considering he’s married and he knows I’m single. I think the attraction is mutual.

This will be interesting. I’m getting my popcorn ready.

Two guys from my very distant past have reached out this week. I met them both in fall 2014, 2-3 months after separating from Mars. I was in a strange emotional state then and acted uncharacteristically. Plus, I’ve obviously changed a lot in 2-1/2 years. As a result, I feel like they don’t know the real me. I engaged in conversations with them but am now regretting it. Both are in their 20s. I’m finding I’m annoyed by and impatient with their maturity level. I’m going to give them the closure they both claim to need then block.

I have no dates lined up this week on my two kid-free nights, and I am okay with it. I am going to play guitar and start the Westworld series, which came highly recommended by AGD during our date on Friday night.

Tuesday cheers to you all!