Last night’s date, Matt 1, and I had a 95% match compatibility rating on OK Cupid. I had never had a date with such a high match before so I was excited. Was there going to be off-the-charts electricity? Were we going to be a near-perfect match?
Matt 1 was in town from Portland visiting family. He was born and raised in San Francisco – and his family still lives here – so he visits often. I don’t normally meet out-of-towners/tourists but made an exception for this reason and because we were such a high match. I was curious to see what would materialize.
Name: Matt 1
Met on: Ok Cupid
38 years old, forensics scientist, never married, no kids
We met at Fly Bar at 8:30 pm. It was packed. I took the only seat left at the bar and ordered a lager while I waited. He arrived not long after. He was a good looking guy but it was now apparent he wasn’t my type. He had a geeky way about him and he was heavier than his photos suggested.
He ordered a beer and we settled in to chat for the next 2 hours. During the course of that time, I learned we weren’t very compatible. He said he always wanted kids but may have missed his window, i.e. “I don’t want to be elderly when they graduate from high school”. Honestly, he still has time if he really wants them… and I, of course, don’t want any more kids at this stage in my life.
The other red flag was that even though he’s not religious (but was raised Catholic), he wanted to raise his kids with religion. We strongly disagreed on this. I told him I think kids are too young to be exposed to it; he thinks it would instill good morals. I responded, “Because they will be scared into behaving?” He said, “Well, no, because they’ll be rewarded with Heaven.”
While sitting side by side on our bar stools, he occasionally rubbed his legs up against mine. It wasn’t doing anything for me.
After we had 2 beers each, he walked me to my car and I gave him a ride to his. As I dropped him off at his car, he said he’d like to see me again next time he’s in town. I said sure. The reality is that I knew I’d have to think on it. Today I’ve decided it’s not reasonable. We wouldn’t have a future together anyway and I’m not attracted to him enough to have anything physical or no-strings-attached.
I came home, relaxed with a hot bath, then went to bed.
All’s well that ends well, and now I know that OK Cupid’s high match ratings are probably bogus. More testing is required to know for sure.
I had a last-minute lunch date today that we scheduled last night. We connected over OK Cupid by talking about music.
Met on: OK Cupid
46 years old, computer engineer, never married, no kids
I was having trouble finding parking so I was a little late. When I walked up to the vegan restaurant in the Mission, he was standing outside. He was attractive but geeky.
We got a “shared” table and had to sit with another couple. They were older and listening in on our conversation. As I was looking over the menu, I asked him if it was a vegetarian restaurant or vegan and the woman sitting at our table said, “It’s vegan.” Haha. Not good. Was this couple going to listen in on our entire conversation?
When I asked Workaholic if he’d been married or has kids, he said he had focused too much on his career until recently and it never happened.
I knew this alone made us very incompatible. This dude would reserve vacations and then not go because work would get in the way. He admitted he was too lenient. No, just no. And he also said he got into computer engineering accidentally because he “failed” a math course when he was studying electrical engineering. For him, “fail” equals a C+. He said it was the only time he hadn’t gotten an A so he panicked and changed his major.
However, he said it was a happy failure because he moved into computer engineering. Obviously that’s not a terrible profession to have.
I was happier when we moved on to discussing music. We had a lot in common in that regard.
About 2 hours in, I told him I needed to get going because I was in a 2 hour street parking spot. He insisted on paying for lunch then we walked to the street corner and said our goodbyes. I told him I’d like to go to a concert with him… and that’s the truth.
There was no love connection and I wasn’t very attracted to him but we are both looking for a concert buddy.
I leave in about an hour for my date with Matt 2 at a microbrewery. I don’t think there will be a love connection but he’s a super nice guy (we’ve chatted on the phone before) so I think we’ll get along. I’m looking forward to meeting him.
I hope you’re all enjoying the weekend.