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I have a pattern of past boyfriends reappearing into my life and trying to rekindle a relationship. By that point, I had moved on and it was too late. It’s incredibly painful. As much as I pined for them after our breakups and then eventually moved on, they’d reappear after everything in my life was once again going well.

When things were rocky with Mars, I remember crying to my sister on the phone in the kitchen of my marital home that it was going to end, that divorce was inevitable… and the thought of Mars finally getting serious and trying to come back after I’d moved on was going to be emotionally devastating.

This is my pattern:

  1. Enjoy an amazing love story
  2. Break up over painful unfulfilled needs
  3. Feel like I’m dying as I recover from the heartbreak
  4. Eventually move past it
  5. Find myself in a blissful new relationship
  6. Ex returns and wants to try again

It sucks. It sucks knowing that the object of my affection will eventually come around… but only after it’s too late.

It has happened with almost every ex-boyfriend. It happened with Mars. I wonder if it will happen with Hayden.

Knowing this may be imminent doesn’t stop me from moving on, though. Recovering from heartbreak is a different process for everyone. I have always embraced change and, as a result, I think I recover from heartbreak faster than the average person.