Tags

, , , , ,

I’m gearing up for back-to-back dates over the next 3 days. My dance card is full!

Tonight: The “I’m your guy” dude flaked on tonight’s date. I’m annoyed. He said something came up with his kids but I’m not entirely sure if I buy that story. For one, he didn’t reach out first to cancel; I had to ask him if our plans were still a go since I hadn’t heard from him. He asked to reschedule – I said sure – yet I haven’t heard back from him suggesting alternate days and times. Instead, I have a tentative date with a 30 year old aeronautical engineer cutie with a killer smile & dimples. He’s going to message me later this afternoon after an important meeting that will ultimately dictate whether he’s free tonight.

Tomorrow: You will all be ecstatic to hear I have a 2nd date with Professor Luke. He texted this morning asking if we were still on for tomorrow night. Yes! Sex is highly likely.

Saturday night: Supposedly Hayden. I’m not holding my breath, though. If he doesn’t follow through since I delivered my news, I will make alternate plans.

I met up with Lola last night – it was fantastic seeing her. We caught up over a lovely dinner at one of my neighborhood restaurants. I hadn’t seen her in a couple months so we had a lot to chat about.

Not all my online dating matches have been polite and well-behaved. Two in particular continually tried to engage in sex-centric discussions, despite my insistence that I don’t discuss sex until after the first date. I think it sets unrealistic expectations.

I have included actual text clips with background information for your entertainment.

Exhibit 1: Elliot Tinder

34 years old, never married, no kids, works for non-profit during the day, is an Uber driver at night to bring in extra cash for his upcoming vacation to Africa, former firefighter, from Queens, New York. We even scheduled a nice phone call one evening ( he has a thick Queens accent!). We matched on Tinder.

All was promising but his texts were completely sex-based. For example, “How about we meet for a quick drink then go back to your place for sex?”, “I’m only available late at night after putting in some Uber time”, “I can bring over a bottle of wine”, “I hope you’re going to want it – I’m sexually frustrated”. I didn’t respond to these texts.

I told him a couple times that it didn’t seem like this would work out because I ultimately wanted a relationship, I obviously wasn’t his type, etc. but he kept on keeping on.

Finally, the below conversation happened:

text2

“I could have been your best” likely means that I would have been disappointed. Isn’t that always the case??! Just before these texts above, he had gloated that I would love having sex with him because he has lots of stamina from working out at the gym 2 hours per day, 6 days/week.

It’s especially disappointing because we had text conversations over 3 weeks. What a waste of time and energy.

Exhibit 2: David Bumble

We exchanged numbers early on because he seemed like a respectable guy. 31 years old, cute, worked in advertising, said he preferred older women (his last girlfriend was 44). We matched on Bumble.

But the text conversation immediately became inappropriate. I asked him if he preferred going by David or Dave. He initially said, “It depends on which room you’re saying it in” but then apologized for the comment. OK, dude. Whatever.

But then he said, “Either is fine. Whichever your prefer.” The following conversation followed:

text1

And that was that.

Advertisements