I find it fascinating how different my texting habits are now versus how they used to be in my post-marriage past.

Then: My phone was constantly lighting up with incoming text messages from suitors. I was eager to engage, and was far flirtier and less discriminating. I’d send racy texts, occasionally racy photos. In turn, I’d sometimes receive unsolicited dick pics.

Now: Text messages are few and far between. When I get a text notification now, I think ‘Who the hell is texting me?!’ I don’t give out my phone number until I know my suitor better and know he won’t abuse the privilege. I am more “conservative” now in the content I text and am a lot more discriminating. I don’t sext. The raciest photo I’ve sent recently was of me in a bikini while vacationing in Mexico. And I can’t remember the last time I’ve received a dick pic.

I’ll admit: The dramatic decrease in text communications has been an adjustment. I was addicted to the dopamine high. (Side note: Here’s an interesting Psychology Today article about why texting is so addictive.)

I still sometimes yearn for that dopamine rush. I miss it. However, I feel like this is a good lesson for me. I’m learning to relax into the silence and enjoy the calm. I don’t want a fake dopamine high.