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Hayden came over on Friday night. Since it was Cinco de Mayo, I suggested we head to one of our favorite neighborhood Mexican restaurants for enchiladas and margaritas. As expected, there was a long wait but we eventually succeeded in securing a table. 2-1/2 hours later, we were finally in the car heading back to my place.

We stopped to get a bottle of wine on the way per Hayden’s suggestion. I had read an article earlier that day that recommended women drink no more than 2 drinks per week for health and fitness. I suspect this is why my fitness has plateaued. I took the information to heart and told Hayden I wouldn’t be drinking much, if any, of the wine, as I’d had a margarita and a Peruvian beer with dinner.

Once at my place: Sex and TV. After passionate sex, we watched an episode of Walking Dead and Sherlock. I fell asleep for most of Sherlock. He drank the whole bottle of wine minus a few sips from me. At around 12:30, he asked if I was ready to head to bed.

“Oh, are you staying the night?”

He was. I was shocked.

He fell asleep immediately while snuggling. I admit: It felt awkward. I felt like he was staying overnight simply because I’d asked him about it, not because he really wanted to.

Also, he wasn’t my boyfriend – was it appropriate for me to cuddle him as much as we did when we were a couple?

We had sex again in the morning. I love morning sex! Hayden had volunteered to work an all-day Saturday event so he had to leave at 8:30.

I remained in bed listening to podcasts for a couple hours then canceled my tentative coffee date with South. I was feeling lazy and just didn’t feel up to it.

South never responded, which is just as well.

I had a nice weekend. I did chores, some organizing and decluttering, and spent some time in the gorgeous spring sun at Golden Gate Park. Mars, the kids, and I went on our annual spring visit to see ducklings and goslings at Stow Lake. We got halfway around the lake without seeing any and suspected maybe we had waited too long. On the second half of the walk, though, we hit the jackpot and saw tons of ducklings and goslings of various ages… from tiny recently hatched babies to teenagers.

There were lots of couples smiling and holding hands in the park. It made my stomach do flip-flops with yearning. I wanted to be part of a smiling, laughing couple holding hands on this beautiful spring day, too.

Of course, I don’t need a partner; I want one. Life isn’t meant to be lived alone. I want to share my life with a partner. I want the inside jokes, the knowing glances, the touch, the emotional intimacy… someone who accepts me for who I am despite my flaws. I want someone who cares.

OK Cupid and Tinder remain unusually quiet. The nice weather must mean people are outdoors and can’t be bothered swiping or sending messages.

That said, I did hear from both Piano Guy and Colombian Hottie this weekend. Both asked when they could see me again. I made plans with both of them for next week.

Racer X is arriving tomorrow. We have plans to see each other both nights he’s in town, then I’ll be seeing Hayden on Wednesday.