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I canceled my date with Piano Guy last night. I was feeling down and just needed some time to unwind and relax after dropping the kids off with Mars. I felt terrible about it but he was very understanding.

I had forgotten to mention that I heard from Adonis on Mother’s Day. He sent me a text that simply said “Happy Mother’s Day.” Given that I hadn’t heard from him since last fall, this was a big surprise. I responded, “Thanks, Adonis! I hope all is going well with you.” No word since. I find it baffling, and now I’m beginning to wonder if he meant it for someone else.

I got a friend request on Facebook yesterday from The Blond Mandarin. I was shocked. I never responded to his last text in February. I accepted his request, then he sent me a message. I asked him if he’d found a job yet. He hasn’t. He now has a girlfriend, which I suspect is the same woman he told me about last time we were in touch. He said she was pushing to live together as a way to share rent and living expenses. He said the idea was very appealing, as he was struggling financially and relying on family, but that he wasn’t interested in a relationship with her. Guess that’s changed.

I told him I’m happy for him. He replied, “Yeah, I didn’t anticipate that but I need some support in these dire times so I’m trying to be reasonable and more commitment-friendly than usual.” Well, wow. Good luck with that.

There were a couple prospects on Tinder I was talking with… until they crossed the line (but for different reasons). I apologize – I’ve gotten lazy about hiding their faces.

It’s a pet peeve of mine when guys don’t read my profile, especially when doing so would answer their questions.

Exhibit 1:



He wasn’t willing to read my profile even after I told him he could find the answers there? Unbelievable. Plus, he was vague with what he was doing in Kurdistan and when he would return to San Francisco. It seemed fishy.

I unmatched. Obviously.

And then there’s this guy, who seemed very promising: Age-appropriate and an artist (I’m a sucker for creative types) – his paintings impressed me. And he wanted a relationship.

All was going well… until he mentioned his cock.

Exhibit 2:


Side note: 7″ means nothing to me. And I wasn’t about ready to break out a ruler and think about it. Also, do guys really measure themselves? My mind was blown.

I sat with the information for a day, thinking I’d ultimately be okay with his lapse in judgment, but then I realized that I didn’t want to go on a 1st dateΒ  thinking about this guy’s cock. Too much information, too much pressure. Plus, it goes against my own rule of not allowing sexual talk until we’ve met in person.

I unmatched him this morning.

The 42 year old on OK Cupid I mentioned previously hasn’t been making much of an effort to ask me out. Yesterday, he sent me a message asking me if I was free last night. I wasn’t – I had a date with Piano Guy. I told him I was busy and haven’t heard back from him. I continue waiting. I initially offered Thursday night but he hasn’t given me word one way or another if that works for him.

I’m feeling blah about dating in general. I admit I haven’t been making much of an effort, either.

My period is still MIA. I took a home pregnancy test yesterday that I bought at the drugstore – it was faulty. There was no control line. I’m pissed. I took a gamble and bought just one test, which was 10 fucking dollars. I’m mad it was so expensive but even madder it didn’t work.

I always spot for 4 days before getting my period. I’m 2 days late right now; 6 days late if you count the spotting. I suspect this could be perimenopause but it’s odd considering I haven’t had any change in my cycles until now. My cycle tracker app is annoyingly sending me notices asking me if I’ve forgotten to enter my period start date.

Hayden has been texting me daily, which is very unusual for him. When he texted on Monday night, I’d told him I had the work day from hell and was dreading the next day because it was likely to be more of the same crap. He checked in with me last night asking if my day was better than the previous day. So sweet.

We’ll be seeing each other tonight.

He has been focused on health and fitness lately: eating better, running, and lifting weights. He has gained what I estimate to be 15 lbs since we met last August. I’m glad he’s taking the initiative.