It’s happening again. Hayden is retreating.
It’s possible it’s coincidental.
This time, however, I expected it so I wasn’t all that disappointed when he canceled plans to come over last night. Yay me!
When I recently reverted to my anxious attachment style and had a mini freak-out, Dater Analysis consoled me and informed me of the Rubber Band Theory. The theory states that a man will try to get closer if the woman retreats, and will retreat when a woman tries to get closer.
I also know that the Avoidant attachment pattern dictates that someone who is Avoidant will retreat if they feel they’re becoming too close to someone. I have already suspected that Hayden is Avoidant.
After spending a lot more time together than usual over the weekend, Hayden didn’t come over last night to watch The Bachelorette with us as he always does.
He texted me yesterday afternoon saying he had to cancel because he didn’t feel well. It’s entirely possible he truly didn’t feel well but I still found it suspicious considering we seemed to get much closer last weekend. (Side note: He also referred to me as his girlfriend twice in conversation with me.)
My daughter and I still watched The Bachelorette and my son even joined in for a while. It’s just as well Hayden wasn’t there to watch it with us because it may have been uncomfortable. Rachel had a one-on-one date with Dean, who is only 25 and 7 years younger than her. Their age difference was a major topic of conversation on the show. I was thinking, ‘Ha! 6 years is nothing…..!’
They seemed to get along very well, though, and Dean seems ready to get married and start a family. He even divulged that he was falling in love with Rachel.
(I am obviously eager to see where their relationship goes. I feel like I have a personal interest.)
This was a timely topic since I’ve been thinking about my age difference with Hayden a lot lately. Our age difference doesn’t bother me at all but it bothers me that it bothers him. It is supposedly the reason he broke up with me in January. (I say supposedly because I still suspect there were other reasons for our breakup that he hasn’t admitted.)
Hayden claims our age difference doesn’t bother him anymore… but I wonder how that’s possible if it was true in the first place. Can someone get over something like that?
I struggle with this. I want someone who wants to be with me 100% and without a doubt in his mind.
It’s possible Hayden is that someone but I won’t be convinced until time tells. I’m still having a hard time trusting that he’s not going to change his mind about our relationship. I keep expecting him to drop the bomb again; I hope it’s not a self-fulfilling prophecy. I don’t want to think this way about him!
If he does get wishy-washy and change his mind again, I do know that it will be completely over between us. There will be no second chance.