Hayden came over last night for The Bachelorette finale. I made pot roast and Caesar salad and asked him to bring a bottle of wine or champagne. He brought over an incredible bottle of 2012 Chateau St. Jean pinot noir. He splurged.
I said, “Dayum! Look at you, bringing over an expensive bottle of wine.” (For the record, it was $22 lest you think he went nuts and brought over a $75+ bottle.)
I’d grown so accustomed to $6 bottles of wine that this buttery smooth wine was a rare treat. I practically guzzled it – Hayden couldn’t keep up with me.
He complimented me on my dress and said he thought purple was my color. Aww. This was unusual because he rarely makes specific comments about my appearance.
While I was preparing dinner, we talked about the house we saw on Sunday. I told him I loved the house but am still not convinced about the neighborhood’s safety. I’d done a lot of research on the architect (it’s a famous architect known for his “California Modern” mid-century style) and the neighborhood so I shared what I’d discovered.
I forgot to mention in my previous post that after the realtor asked if Hayden was my son, she asked him to do some odd jobs around the house. I thought it was preposterous and inappropriate. She had asked him to remove some plant hooks in the ceiling and install some smoke alarms. WHAT?! What kind of a realtor asks potential buyers to do odd jobs around the house they’re considering?!
Hayden is the one who brought up the realtor, though. He said, “Did you notice she wasn’t wearing shoes the entire time we were there? That was disgusting.” I laughed and pointed out that most people go barefoot when at home. Granted, this wasn’t her home… but still.
And that’s when I said, “Well, I though it was ridiculous that she asked you to do chores around the house. What the hell was that about?”
He had an interesting theory about that. He said he thought she asked him to do “manly” chores around the house because she had emasculated him with the son comment. He thought she probably felt guilty and embarrassed about it and that asking him to do chores while acting like a “helpless woman” (her words) was reparation.
I think he may be onto something. He said he didn’t mind that she was asking him to do chores. I minded, though. That’s the realtor’s job, not Hayden’s!
That’s all we said about it. I didn’t ask him what he thought about the son comment although in hindsight I wish I had.
By the way, last night’s The Bachelorette was disappointing. We were shocked by who Rachel ultimately chose. The show was making so much fuss about Peter that we were sure he was going to pull through.
I talked with my sister today. She’ll probably be in town on Friday and asked if she could stay over on Friday night. As we were getting ready to hang up, she asked me if I was dating anyone. I was at work and was unprepared to answer such a question. In my moment of panic I didn’t answer the question very well at all. In fact, I feel like I threw Hayden under the bus. God, I feel terrible.
She said, “Who’s Hayden? Is that the guy who had a drinking problem?”
Her: “Uh, no. That’s not good.”
Because I was at work, I couldn’t offer explanations. I simply said, “The drinking is under control. Things are going really well with him. I don’t know what’s ultimately in store for us but we like spending time together. I’m just taking it one day at a time. I mean, things aren’t perfect but they’re really good.”
She said, “Isn’t he the one who abruptly broke up with you?”
I replied, “Yes, and I wasn’t happy about that at all. I was blindsided. But we’ve been seeing each other ever since then. And now we see each other 3-4x/week.”
She seemed judgy. She always seems judgy, though, so that’s nothing new. During the conversation she even threw in her negative opinions on my ongoing decision to stay in San Francisco. She thinks I should have moved back to my hometown. Her reasons: Cost of living is more reasonable and there is a lot of family around to help with the kids.
The only reason I don’t – and she knows this – is because doing so would mean a dramatic shift in custody; the kids would ultimately suffer. Staying in San Francisco is a sacrifice I’m making for my kids.
She’s also never accepted or been happy about my split with Mars.
It may be uncomfortable for everyone when my sister is over on Friday night because that’s a night Hayden typically comes over. My sister has met Hayden once before, back in early December, and didn’t like him then. (For the record, she doesn’t like many people when she first meets them.) But now she has more reasons to dislike him, i.e. 1) He broke up with me unexpectedly last January, and 2) He has or used to have a problem with alcohol. (Meanwhile, most of her friends are obvious raging alcoholics.)
I’m not bothered about her opinions on Hayden, per se. I’m simply bothered that she often provides unsolicited opinions and advice about how I should live my life. She’s such an expert on everyone else’s life. *sarcasm*